Hi guys! Something a bit different today. Last week I was contacted by aspiring author Melissa Eileen Padilla who was wondering if she could write a Valentines Day piece. I thought it sounded brilliant, but unfortunately her next email went straight through to my junk folder (oops!). I was clearing out my email over the weekend & found it, so I got back in touch with her to see if she still wanted to run the piece. So here it is, a week after Valentines day!
"My name is Melissa and I am currently living in San Diego, California. My psuedo/alter-ego nick-name is: Rubymariejane and you can follow me on Facebook or Instagram to get an inside look into all things me."
“Happily Never After?”
By: Melissa Eileen Padilla
What if all fairytales are wrong and essentially every tale ever told was a lie? Every Cinderella, every Sleeping Beauty – all the glitter and hope of true love, the holy grail of being awoken from a coma by an evil witch with just one kiss – happily ever after is really the opposite…happily Never after.
This is my story. Well, not really my story – it’s every girls story who is about to turn 25, who at some point experienced a long-term, somewhat loving relationship with an emphasis on marriage, only to find themselves alone days before and after D-Day or V-Day alone. I mean, happily Never after must exist or there would be no need for Danielle Steele novels, on-line dating, or any romantic comedy starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
It’s a strange concept but it does exist. Don’t get me wrong, in this sentence, I am not knocking love or all the disgustingly cute couples of the world, strolling the aisles at Walgreens looking for the perfect, quintessential card for their significant other to receive and smile about as they later post a picture of it on Instagram – I’m simply stating that with the average rates of divorce, maybe happily ever after does not exist. Is happily ever after similar to Eve taking a bite of the forbidden fruit? Are we set up for failure at the hands of Disney and their perfectly, pixilated, chiseled, handsome, chivalrous (need I go on?) men who give the girl who is also perfect in every way their happily ever after.
I think there is a reason why these movies only last 90 minutes because it wouldn’t be a film or happily ever after to see what we all know is coming, dare I say the words – happily Never after. I have several favorite films and one of them I watched the other day and I loved it. “Blue Valentine,” starring Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling gives and honest, inside look to love. The film got me thinking – maybe instead of searching for happily ever after I should search for happily, hopefully at least 5 years of happy but maybe not so much the ever after. If I ever do decide to get married, I will change the vows to reflect this:
“I promise to honor and love thee until the happy runs out or death comes first.”
I love the feeling of love and I love falling in love. I am not afraid of love. I don’t have any walls up – I just simply don’t have the mindset of Charlotte from Sex and The City when she said, “I’ve been dating since I was 15, I’m tired, where is he already?” I feel like I have this massive strength running through my veins and I could make a Lance Armstrong joke here but I am taking the high road – kind of like he did. Get it, high? Okay, so I’m sure there are other girls in my position who feel similar to me and I think we V for Vendetta Valentine’s Day(including every day after) and take it back for us. Instead of dreading this day, I say we embrace it and take a look at all the happily ever after’s around us. Think about what makes you truly happy and do it. My day was be filled with snuggling with my cat, Molly (I asked her to be my Valentine already and she said YES!I got her on lock!), dancing like Michael Scott from, “The Office,” to all my ridiculous music that I hide from boyfriends but makes me super happy, and calling my friends and family because regardless of a man giving me my happily ever after – my friends and family already do. If anything, this past Valentine’s day made me realize with or without a man – how truly blessed I am.
What do you think, is there such thing as a happy ever after? I do think that movies can be a very unrealistic portrayal of relationships - they take hard work and compromise & things aren't always easy. But then, many people watch movies for light entertainment - not to see their own lives hashed out on the screen!